Content By Bernice Lam

Photography by Andrej Rutar

12-December-2021

Your wedding vows are some of the most important words you will pen in your life. For most couples there is some pressure to craft the perfect expression of love, and maybe for that reason, many leave it until the last minute.

What Men Think

The vows should be meaningful, but not too soppy. Ideally I should make a few of the women in the front row cry, definitely not myself. 

What Women Think

This is my moment to shine and one of the most important moments of the whole ceremony. I want my vows to be perfection. 

What You Should Share

You should write your wedding vows, at least in draft form, a few weeks before the big day. Tell your partner how long your vows are. The easiest way to do that is to share how many sentences you have written. You want to aim for the same length give or take 3-4 sentences. If the bride shares how much she loves the man in front of her for 5 gushy minutes, then the groom says his lines within 20 quick seconds there will be a very awkward moment amongst the wedding guests and the couple too. So you want to aim to speak for roughly the same amount of time. This is especially important if you are having a professional videography team capture the day.

Who to Consider

While it's natural to think about the audience, your nearest and dearest family and friends, it is not really much about them. So try to block out what they might think about your wedding vows. Instead write for the one you are going to marry. You want to tell them how much you love them and why they are the one. Tell them all of the things you appreciate about them. You can recall a favorite memory or how you met. Lastly, say what you promise to give to the relationship. 

If you get stuck just pretend you are speaking only to your love. Speak the words out loud then write them on paper.

Make the vows personal, romantic and warm and don't be afraid to add in a little humor if you have that kind of relationship. A little laughter is also a great way to let go of some stress and take a moment to breathe. 

Logistically Speaking

If you are still holding your bouquet when it's time to speak you can pass it to the nearest bridesmaid or someone in the front row. 

If you are using a microphone try not to put it too close to your mouth. You don't want it blocking your face for the photos. Also you don't want your voice to be booming through the wedding venue at a full forced pitch. The wedding celebrant will hand you the mic and you will pass it back after you finish reading the wedding vows. 

Final Touches 

You can buy some gorgeous his and her vows cards with pretty and trendy calligraphy on the front and chiffon ties that look lovely in photos and make great keepsakes from the wedding day. A quick search online will find many options to match your color theme or style of wedding decor. 

Everyone has it in them to write the perfect vows. Even if writing isn't your greatest skill, you can find the right words and wow your bride or groom. You can be as traditional or as unconventional as you wish. This is your day and your words from your heart. Take inspiration from your love and each other and you will find the most beautiful words you are searching for.